I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize