we're making bets on your personal life
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
