I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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