Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish my penis had an off switch
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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