my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
