how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
