i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
