just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
