spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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