did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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