Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
