Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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