She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
