do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
