You work out of a Hotel?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
