I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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