i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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