yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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