Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
