I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize