I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
