fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I CAN MOONWALK!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
