Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
