You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
