So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need to sanitize my soul.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
