the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
