Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize