Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
