just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
