so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this just has baby written all over it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
