You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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