Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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