my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
