if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Redeem this text for a blowjob
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
