I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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