He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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