No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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