Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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