I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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