My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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