the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
