Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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