Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the night ended with taco bell and tears
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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