I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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