she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
