the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
