I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Having a random hookup so left but love u
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
