So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need water and some morals
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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