after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
