guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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