Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
