P.S. I can't hear my feet
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
