when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
