guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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