Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
