yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
