Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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