I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
