No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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