He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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