So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
