Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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