i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
