If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
