Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
