Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
