Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
