She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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